Note: “Laptopstein” is the name of the engineer that created my laptop, my laptop should be referred to as Dr. Laptopstein’s Laptop.
The last update on my laptop was a joyous post of celebration. The one before, was a tragedy on the levels of King Lear and Oedipus Rex. Today, I give you an update that brings the status of my laptop in flux, that places its well being between my previous two updates. Between life and death, in the twilight of my triumph and ultimate despair. My laptop has died, but it continues to live. It is currently being torn apart at the seams, but I have found a way to suspend it in something of a stasis. By not closing it anymore, my laptop is no longer in a state of constant structural deterioration. But new problems arose before and after I finally made that decision.
Continue reading “Undead – Laptopstein: The Machine That Refused To Die – The Untold Story – A Canadian Horror Story”
I recently got a chance to see The Lego Batman Movie, and it was amazing. Funny, heartfelt, and the perfect treat for a fan of Batman like myself. It functioned as both the ultimate fan film, and also the best cinematic Batman story since The Dark Knight. I also happened to enjoy it more than the original Lego Movie, which I thought was terrific, but was something I only liked rather than loved. What happened here? How could I prefer a spin-off that was admittedly less ambitious than the film that precipitated it? Well, the answer to that question lies in that ambition itself, and to explore it, I’m going to have to get into some spoilers.
Continue reading “My Pathetic Reason for Not Loving The Lego Movie”
Damn this film. I hate everything about it. The marketing, the plot, and yeah, the fact that it’s so damn manipulative. OK, I’m the first person to call out people for constantly whining about how everything is “fake” these days, and how consumerist society has become since those tend to be trite criticisms about things people don’t really examine, but boy does this movie make a damn good case for those people. It’s so god damned calculated and clearly designed to make money that it managed to anger me, and again, I’m not usually the kind of person who’d whine about that kind of thing. Almost every creative achievement ever was partly motivated by the thought of making some cash, but this movie is so freaking transparent about it. Maybe that’s what bothers me about it so much, that it’s so utterly graceless in what it’s trying to do.
Continue reading “SING has Turned Me Into an Angry Cynic”
I recently saw Moana, and surprise-surprise, it was great. I’m still torn on whether or not it was better than Frozen, but it was definitely a solid film with very little flaws. The thing is though, I’m not here to write a review on this film, I’m more here to discuss its villains. It had two, and only one of them was really a character in the sense that it had a personality and motivations. Right now I wanna talk Tamatoa, who was wonderfully voiced by Jemaine Clements, and what his role in the film was.
Continue reading “Moana and the Future of Disney Villains”
The Boy King. The image that comes to mind when I think of a Trump presidency isn’t that of a ruthless tyrant, or a xenophobic dictator. Trump is many things, but he’s never exactly what you describe him as. No one who has analyzed what he has said and done for a number of years can accurately assess what he’s going to do on a policy level, because Trump has no coherent policy. Actually, that may be an understatement, as a more accurate assessment of Trump is that he has no ideology. He doesn’t really believe in anything, and has been on every side of virtually every issue, even things he’s known for having a strong stance on like immigration. The only consistent thing about Trump is the level of character he brings to the office, and that character is that of an unpredictable petulant child.
Continue reading “The Best and Worst Case Scenario of a Trump Presidency”
Here’s an interesting fact about the DC universe that you may not know: It features not one, not two, but three prominent super intelligent Gorilla villains in its universe. I have no idea why this is the case, but I’ve always thought it was interesting. Another weird aspect of this is how different they all are. Ya, they’re all evil genius gorillas obviously, but their inceptions and backstories are very distinct. These 3 apes all developed independently of each other from different writers, which makes it extra strange that separate DC writers kept going to this “brilliant ape” well. Gorilla Grodd, Monsieur Mallah and the Ultra-Humanite are big hairy apes who can kill you with their bare hands or some elaborate death trap. Here’s some basic things about them.
Continue reading “DC’s Weird Obsession With Hyper-Intelligent Gorillas”
When people reference shows starring (purposely written) horrible people, they inevitably bring up the Always Sunny in Philadelphia gang. The Reynolds family (along with Mac and Charlie), are self-centred, egotistical, and emotionally immature nuisances who often star in episodes where they take their unpleasantness into the outside world, damage the lives of the people they interact with, then get rejected and forced to find comfort in the awful safe-space that is the bar that they own. On Transparent, much of the same thing happens with the Pfeffermans, a family very much like the Reynolds, but with the only difference being that their awful actions have lasting negative repercussions on the people around them and themselves. While Almost Sunny operates on a cartoon logic of everything more or less reverting to how things were before by the start of the next episode, Transparent forces its narcissistic characters to sit with their bad decisions for the remainder of their sad and empty lives. The comedic fallout of their actions are so dark at times that it almost veers into dramatic territory, but the heightened nature of everything reminds the audience to laugh at what has transpired. It’s shocking how little punches this show pulls, even with its transgender star Maura Pfefferman, who also happens to be a mostly awful person. Much like Frank Reynolds on Always Sunny, much of her role seems to be as the one financing the bizarre behaviour her kids seem to get into, and the fact that the show can make us feel be both sympathetic and angry towards her is a grand feat. Once again like Frank, she has a kid that is an honest to God sociopath, but less in the popcultural serial killer sense and more in the toxic presence that routinely hurts those close to her. Ali, along with her two siblings Josh and Sarah, are really who are at the centre of the show despite it being ostensibly about Maura coming out as transgender. Those three siblings are the beating rotten heart of this show.
Continue reading “How Transparent is Like a Darker Always Sunny in Philadelphia”
Say what you will about Senator Ted Cruz… and before I get to the “but” part of that sentence I’ll be saying what I will about him myself! He’s a hypocrite about the constitution, completely lacks any self-awareness, and where most presidential hopefuls would like to shine under America’s spotlight, he glistens, like a reptile-man (similar to the Mortal Kombat character, Reptile). BUT, even with all that said, Cruz is very, very good at doing one thing: Making ads for his campaign. They’re well produced and they do the job of building Ted up, while his attack ads pull no punches in criticizing its targets. It’s clear that Ted puts a lot of effort into them, but he’s unique in that his ads also tend to have a bit of self-awareness in them. They’re basically the only ads out there that know how dumb these things tend to be, and he goes all out with making them. Take his best one for example titled “War Room”.
Continue reading “Ted Cruz is Good for Literally One Thing: Campaign Ads”