The Fart in the Wind

I didn’t want it to turn out this way. I didn’t want them to know of my most intimate smell. It happened so suddenly and I wasn’t thinking so I let it out. But I knew almost immediately after it happened that I could have stopped it, that if I clenched hard enough… No. It’s best not to think about “what if’s” and “if only’s”. Not now, especially not now after what happened. But before it all went down (or it all came out rather) we were all laughing and having a good time, sharing jokes, partaking in the creation of good memories. I remember thinking about that piece of bread I left in the toaster back home, wondering if my mom would eat it herself or set it aside for no one in particular. I was in the midst of arriving at my conclusion when suddenly it happened. An eruption. I expelled the most noxious gas I’ve ever smelt, a rancid odor far beyond my imagination. And the sound… Oh that sickening sound. Almost like a dying banshee, moaning towards the waning moon, my flatulence sounded more like a ghostly wail than any sort of natural bodily emission. There were 6 of us cramped in that minivan, all moments before excited about the Halloween party we all hoped to attend, now overcome with the most terrible sensation we have ever experienced: The Smell of my Shame.

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