Mind Spill: March 24th 2015

This is a brand new type of post I’ll be making on this site called “Mind Spill” (Nearly titled “Thought Vomit”) which will just consist of me posting my thoughts on random topics in a flood of little posts. Enjoy!

-Can anyone even use the phrase “Dear Diary” unironically anymore? I tried here, but it didn’t seem to work.

-I don’t watch Orange is the New Black, nor do I understand the reference it was making with its “Don’t Talk to Me” promo, but now I have it stuck in my head. Darn.

-I have some serious reservations for Scarecrow as the main villain of Arkham Knight because, if I’m not mistaken here, Scarecrow is lame ass chump who couldn’t carry a plot if it was attached to an intricate pulley system that did most of the lifting for him. He’s pretty much that gimmick cartoon villain that forces the heroes to literally confront their fears. Been there, done that. Next.

-A bitch is a callous, but assertive figure that often steps on people they don’t care about on the way to the top. A bitchley, (like Scarecrow) is the kind of person whose behaviour is like an invitation to be crushed. They have no spine, have no pride, and nothing they ever set their mind to ever comes together. It is important that people know the difference between these similar sounding yet highly different terms.

-The next Pixar film Inside Out, is totally about a girl facing clinical depression. The people in her brain are all metaphors for the state of her mind, and the character of ‘Sadness’ (appropriately played by Phyllis from The Office) infecting all the happy memories with sad ones is meant to be symbolic meaning of this shift in her mind. I know, I’m a genius, worship me when the time comes.

-As big a Friends fan as I am, I’ve always thought Joey was a huge chump. He was like this weird mix of womanizer and gluttonous moron that shifted far more towards the latter as the series progressed. He also honestly wasn’t all that funny; ya he had that great catchphrase, but the sad reality is that he was mostly only around to act as the show’s source of “dumb person” jokes. In terms of story, even Matt LeBlanc admitted to the fact that Joey never really had any meaningful story arcs at any point on the show’s run. The closest he ever got to such a thing was an embarrassment to say the least. First he loses Charlie, by far his best love interest, to Ross (ROSS), and then he starts dating Rachel? The Joey/Rachel relationship was a stone cold atrocity, a televised abomination. Just thinking about it makes me shudder (and not in the good way), the less said about it, the better.

-Fun facts about Friends: Rachel has kissed all 5 of her best friends on the lips over the course of the show’s run. Also, the friends have mocked Chandler for his “could this BE anymore” catchphrase more times than Chandler has actually used it.

-If you’re not watching Jane the Virgin, then shame on you. Despite the goofy title, it’s actually a very enjoyable show.

The Lord of the Rings series is the antithesis of everything I am.

“Only a Sith deal in absolutes” – Uhhh, Obi, isn’t THAT an absolute (ya, I’m impressed with myself too for being the very first person to point this out)? Whatever, Star Wars is mostly stupid and Return of the Jedi is an embarrassment. Ya, I know that quote came from Revenge of the Sith, but you know what RotJ had that RotS didn’t? Ewoks.

General Grievous was the coolest Star Wars character. Disney, if you’re reading this, revive him for the JJ Abrams sequel. Please!

Brave is Pixar’s most garbage film that isn’t part of the Cars franchise. Seriously, it was essentially a feature length Fairly Odd Parents “How do I unwish this wish” episode, which is ironic because none of the actual Fairly Odd Parents TV movies were like that.

-My summer viewing advice? Watch all of Hannibal in preparation for that new season that’s coming and watch the first three seasons of Sponge Bob, which are seriously good.

-Hannibal is worth it for the way Mads Mikkelsen delivers the phrase “previously, on Hannibal” alone.

-The most shocking moment of television during my childhood was when I turned on the TV to watch Drake and Josh and Josh was suddenly super skinny. I couldn’t believe it, I thought he was replaced and when I realized he wasn’t I…. I questioned everything.

House of Cards is a campy soap-opera/political action show masquerading as a “prestige” drama, and I love it.

-I originally Googled the phrase “brain spill” as a picture for this article… I regret everything.

-That moment at the end of every Disney film where they reprise the main score and you know that everyone’s going to live happily ever after is always the best moment for me (well, besides the villain song of course).

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