“A man who loses everything is capable of anything”

– Law Abiding Citizen guy, I think he was in 300 too or something

You see that cryptic quote above? It’s something I often repeat to myself out loud whenever I just missed a bus that would take me home. That feeling of desolation… of being abandoned by fate is something I didn’t fully understand in those instances… not until recently that is. On May 8th, 2015, at 7:45 pm, my laptop died. It was just over three years old and was only one day away from retiring from the force when it was tragically shutdown from a broken recharger port. This laptop, encrusted with Cheetoh dust and dreams, which has endured so much before, was brought down by one obscure mechanical failure. This is a laptop whose ‘S, Q, W, Z, and X’ keys were functioning only selectively, this was a laptop that would freeze after any sudden movements, and this was laptop that was literally coming apart at whatever the laptop equivalent of seams are. The signs were all there, but I still feel absolutely gutted by its death. Especially since this is the second time that its died.

Long ago, before all this ugliness, my laptop died and remained dead for three hours and three minutes. Then without warning, when it seemed that all hope was lost, my laptop resurrected itself. Perhaps it heard my pleas for it to keep fighting? Or maybe it was revived by my tears falling upon its keyboard just like in a Disney movie, or The Matrix? It doesn’t matter now though, but the point is that this machine was there for me. Through the good times, the bad times, but mostly just the times when I was bored. It was such a huge and cumbersome machine too, which made me curse it during the many instances I had to bring it to lectures. It was tall, black, and awkward, and even though it will most certainly cause severe back problems for me in the future, I felt a connection to it, one that I can’t quite explain but also one that I won’t soon forget. Despite the problems that came with it, the fact that it was huge was such a great conversation starter. People would often approach me asking why I had such a big laptop. I would often respond telling them

“What, this? It’s big, it’s black, and it’s reliable; kinda like something else of mine”

This easy, vulgar joke always drew a laugh. Every. Time. Now? Well, that isn’t something that will happen ever again. I shudder to think of a world that will be deprived of such a brilliant joke.

After some careful reflection and deep thinking, I’ve come to the realization that me losing my laptop was the worst thing that happened to anyone ever. Without it, I’ve discovered that I really don’t do much besides sitting around aimlessly searching the web and writing super insightful and thoughtful articles (to which I have 77 so far mind you). I know this is a super interesting way for a 20 year old to spend his time, but it really makes you think about what really matters… and that’s precisely the problem. I never asked to be suddenly confronted with my own mortality, I just liked having the internet to kill time. Now I’m forced to write articles on my phone, which takes forever, and I think we all know how valuable a person’s (especially my) time can be. I don’t know where I will be going in the future, (I’m probably just going to get another laptop I guess, maybe one that’s not so big this time) but I do know that it will be without a beloved ally and friend that has been with me for all these years. Goodbye laptop, you will be missed.

Live footage of my laptop’s final moments: