Reincarnated – Laptop Beyond: The Return of the Internet – Dawn of a New Era – The Saga Continues

Much like how Snoop Dogg reincarnated into Snoop Lion, my laptop begins anew in another vessel.

“Believe in the backside” (#ButtsWin)

– A quote that has absolutely nothing to do with what follows.

On June 26 2015, a landmark moment in history took place; one whose symbolic meaning and effect was just as significant as its practical application. Because of what transpired on that day, the entire world bore witness to pure evidence of a positive shift in our collective ideologies… I am of course referring to the purchasing of my brand new laptop. I knew people would be happy about what took place, delighted that they would be receiving more of my oft-revelatory blog posts about super important matters. My previous post on the subject of my laptop was one of tragedy. It chronicled the rise, the fall, the rising again, and the final fall of a machine that’s been by my side throughout most of my University life. When it died on me, it felt like the world was crashing, like I was experiencing the worst pain anyone has ever faced ever (an assumption that was proven correct one evening when my TV was facing difficulties). I’ve faced many trials, but don’t fret kids, for you see this story has a happy ending. I was given a false one when my laptop resurrected only to die soon after, but when I arrived at Future Shop with my credit card (a necessary component of the incantation) to perform a reincarnation ritual, my laptop was returned to me anew. Much like how Megatron became Galvatron, my Gateway laptop became a ‘DELL-somethingorother’.

I’m so happy about all this, and it seems others are too! Folks in the United States are marching across the streets, brandishing rainbows (how did they know that it was my laptop’s favourite colour?), and proudly declaring that “Love Wins”. Yes, Love did win, my love for my laptop motivated me to have it reincarnated. All these people supporting me, loving me, and trusting me to deliver them articles is seriously moving. I’m not sure how this could be perceived as a legal victory, as many commentators have been saying it is, but my laptop’s glorious return is perhaps something that can be seen as intrinsically important to our society. Seriously everyone, I’m flattered and grateful, but most of all I’m impressed at the speed in which all of you down in the States were able to organize a celebration of this scale. Could it be that my laptop is as important to others as I assumed it would be? Definitely. Does that make me a hero/national treasure/America’s sweetheart despite being a Canadian man? Most assuredly. Thanks to all of you, June 26th will forever be the date where Love hashtag Won, and for that I couldn’t be prouder of you all. I now christen this laptop with its first blog post, a post that commemorates the day that Love was reincarnated.

Quote of the Day:

“But now I’m tanned, I’m rested and I’m ready to give this old town a wedgie again!”

– The Joker, Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.

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