Undead – Laptopstein: The Machine That Refused To Die – The Untold Story – A Canadian Horror Story

Phoenix Person

Note: “Laptopstein” is the name of the engineer that created my laptop, my laptop should be referred to as Dr. Laptopstein’s Laptop.

The last update on my laptop was a joyous post of celebration. The one before, was a tragedy on the levels of King Lear and Oedipus Rex. Today, I give you an update that brings the status of my laptop in flux, that places its well being between my previous two updates. Between life and death, in the twilight of my triumph and ultimate despair. My laptop has died, but it continues to live. It is currently being torn apart at the seams, but I have found a way to suspend it in something of a stasis. By not closing it anymore, my laptop is no longer in a state of constant structural deterioration. But new problems arose before and after I finally made that decision.

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Reincarnated – Laptop Beyond: The Return of the Internet – Dawn of a New Era – The Saga Continues

Much like how Snoop Dogg reincarnated into Snoop Lion, my laptop begins anew in another vessel.

“Believe in the backside” (#ButtsWin)

– A quote that has absolutely nothing to do with what follows.

On June 26 2015, a landmark moment in history took place; one whose symbolic meaning and effect was just as significant as its practical application. Because of what transpired on that day, the entire world bore witness to pure evidence of a positive shift in our collective ideologies… I am of course referring to the purchasing of my brand new laptop. I knew people would be happy about what took place, delighted that they would be receiving more of my oft-revelatory blog posts about super important matters. My previous post on the subject of my laptop was one of tragedy. It chronicled the rise, the fall, the rising again, and the final fall of a machine that’s been by my side throughout most of my University life. When it died on me, it felt like the world was crashing, like I was experiencing the worst pain anyone has ever faced ever (an assumption that was proven correct one evening when my TV was facing difficulties). I’ve faced many trials, but don’t fret kids, for you see this story has a happy ending. I was given a false one when my laptop resurrected only to die soon after, but when I arrived at Future Shop with my credit card (a necessary component of the incantation) to perform a reincarnation ritual, my laptop was returned to me anew. Much like how Megatron became Galvatron, my Gateway laptop became a ‘DELL-somethingorother’.

Continue reading “Reincarnated – Laptop Beyond: The Return of the Internet – Dawn of a New Era – The Saga Continues”