Undead – Laptopstein: The Machine That Refused To Die – The Untold Story – A Canadian Horror Story

Phoenix Person

Note: “Laptopstein” is the name of the engineer that created my laptop, my laptop should be referred to as Dr. Laptopstein’s Laptop.

The last update on my laptop was a joyous post of celebration. The one before, was a tragedy on the levels of King Lear and Oedipus Rex. Today, I give you an update that brings the status of my laptop in flux, that places its well being between my previous two updates. Between life and death, in the twilight of my triumph and ultimate despair. My laptop has died, but it continues to live. It is currently being torn apart at the seams, but I have found a way to suspend it in something of a stasis. By not closing it anymore, my laptop is no longer in a state of constant structural deterioration. But new problems arose before and after I finally made that decision.

Its internal wi-fi has been ripped asunder, no longer able to communicate with the internet on its own. Its sound quality has been dodgy for its entire life, but only after buying a new recharger was it able to fix itself. Don’t ask me how my laptop recharger messed with its sound quality. The accumulation of dust has grown to be a significant issue because of the fact I can no longer close this machine, so I also had to purchase a laptop cleaner on top of the recharger (although I probably should have owned one before my laptop began to fall apart). At first I had to use a wireless router communicator in the form of a USB stick that my brother owned, but of course that deteriorated too, forcing me to buy a 30$ upgrade at a Source store. A lot had to go into making sure this laptop was workable enough for me to even be writing this.

This laptop, which felt like a gift from God less than 2 years ago, now feels like an abomination stitched together by nothing but my own desperation. It has no reason to continue existing, and yet it does. Perhaps it is even more of a miracle now than it was when I first got it, but it is hard to feel that way when I turn it on every morning with the knowledge that when I went to bed the night before, it was open in the exact same position, with its camera trained at me from across my room.  If the arc of my laptop’s life was like a TV episode, the ending would be in the style of “the day is saved… but at what cost?”. I did everything I could to save this thing, but should I have? I intrinsically feel that the answer to that question is a resounding yes, but a small part of me feels like I may have condemned myself to a techno-hell. Never knowing when it’d break and constantly needing to patch up the small tears that show up along the way. Only time will tell if it was all worth it in the end.

Quote of the Day:

“You came back wrong.”

Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

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