Ted Cruz is Good for Literally One Thing: Campaign Ads

Say what you will about Senator Ted Cruz… and before I get to the “but” part of that sentence I’ll be saying what I will about him myself! He’s a hypocrite about the constitution, completely lacks any self-awareness, and where most presidential hopefuls would like to shine under America’s spotlight, he glistens, like a reptile-man (similar to the Mortal Kombat character, Reptile). BUT, even with all that said, Cruz is very, very good at doing one thing: Making ads for his campaign. They’re well produced and they do the job of building Ted up, while his attack ads pull no punches in criticizing its targets. It’s clear that Ted puts a lot of effort into them, but he’s unique in that his ads also tend to have a bit of self-awareness in them. They’re basically the only ads out there that know how dumb these things tend to be, and he goes all out with making them. Take his best one for example titled “War Room”.

It does a good job of dumping on two of Ted’s three biggest rivals in this election (the third one being math, the enemy of Bernie’s campaign as well), but it also has a lot of fun with the “characters” present as well. There are parody versions of Huma and Hillary, with Huma being intensely devoted to her boss, and Hillary giving death ray glares towards anyone unlucky enough to insinuate even the slightest of criticisms towards her. There is the unusual combination of bouncy music and ominous staging that conveys to the viewer that “Yes, we know this is stupid, but please enjoy it anyways”. There’s also the crowning moment of the ad, which features Hillary being slid an envelope containing ‘the one person that can beat her’, which she opens producing an honest to God ray of light, revealing Ted Cruz as someone who supposedly can’t be stopped. It’s a very funny way to end an ad, and it was made with full awareness of how ridiculous these things are when you get down to it. Most ads have a habit of implying that their candidate is a ray of light and a beacon of hope, this one straight up does it for Ted.

His other ads also have a humorous bend to them that suggests Ted is on on the joke.

Here’s an ad mocking Donald Trump’s childishness:

Here’s one depicting a monkey doing its taxes for some reason:

Here’s another hilarious Hillary ad featuring an Office Space parody:

And here’s “Cruz Christmas Classics”

These ads, especially this last one, almost endears Ted to you. It leads you to think that he’s smart enough to know that presidential campaigns are mostly just empty theatre, so he makes these ads to at least try and have fun with it. The only problem is that the Ted Cruz that these ads show ironically depicting him as the last pure man in politics is who Ted Cruz actually sees himself as in real life. He’s the kind of guy that not only thinks he should be president, but that God thinks so too; so when that ray of light part of his “War Room” ad comes up, he’s not thinking “ha, that’s so stupid, I love it”, he’s thinking “ya, it’s time the American people knew the truth”. Wanna know why everyone hates him so much? Because he’s the rare politician that actually swallows his own bullshit.

Gif of the Day:

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