“What Did Zoey Say?” Perfectly Encapsulates the Psychotic Nature of Teen Romance Dramas

Remember that show Zoey 101? It was a teen comedy starring a cast of quirky friends hanging out at an academy, hopping between campuses and getting into wacky hijinks. There was also a lot of relationship drama between the titular Zoey and her chump friend Chase. It was basically a college hangout show starring highschoolers targeted at tweens. It was fine for what it was, but it carries that distinct stench of tween-comedy hokeyness that’s difficult to ignore and even harder to shake after viewing. Nonetheless, something very peculiar happened with the show recently.

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Weirdest Character Ever: The Finger-Eating Demon

“Finger food?”

In the episode titled “Magic Bullet” from Angel, a demon played by Danny Woodburn makes an appearance. He’s short, green, and apparently, an executive at some company. He encounters Fred, who at this point is treated as a fugitive due to things that happened in the plot. She finds herself shacking up with this unlikely roommate in a cave somewhere and they eventually make a connection over their shared fates as fugitives. You’ve seen this set up a hundred times before, the lost girl and the curmudgeon-y odd ball forced together under extraordinary circumstances. At first they hate each other, then the lost girl warms to him when she realizes he isn’t threatening, and then the curmudgeon melts under her charms and grows to like her, although he has difficulty expressing his feelings. This set up is so obvious that the little demon himself even points out the trope in dialogue,

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Fred From Angel Was Basically The Library Kid From Recess

Today I’m here to levy serious accusations of plagiarism and thievery at Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, and company. In the midst of taking a shower, I was struck with a horrifying truth, almost as if I were a tree in the middle of a thunderstorm. This truth is burning away at me right now just as this hypothetical tree would be. The truth of Winifred “Fred” Burkle from Angel being a direct rip-off of the Library Kid from Recess. I mean, it’s so obvious once you think about it, and because the team behind Angel was able to get away with this creative theft for so long, I am as frustrated as I am baffled. How dare they try to pass off Disney’s work as their own? I’m getting ahead of myself here, but hear me out.

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5 Things iZombie Gets So Right

iZombie, the newest serial and procedural drama hybrid from Rob Thomas (the mind that brought us Veronica Mars) and Diane Ruggiero, is a very well crafted TV-Show. It is clearly one that has taken cues from other notable shows with procedural elements and has either refined them or done away with the ones that are less conducive to a show’s success. To illustrate what I’m talking about, here are 5 elements iZombie nails really well.

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BoJack Horseman Proves Television Leads Don’t Need to be Likable to be Compelling

The simplest way to describe the Netflix original, BoJack Horseman, is as an animated sitcom that deals with the subject of depression. Its lead, the titular Bojack Horseman, is a washed up 90’s sitcom star with way too much money and time, but is listless and eternally unsatisfied with his state of being. The main question the series asks is “How can I be happy?”, and the way it addresses that question is perhaps more raw and honest than any other show that came before it. Why that is the case is something that stumped me for quite a while. Why is this show about a talking horse and his wacky friends able to hit such a raw nerve in the discussion of depression? My take on this after a lot of thought is that we are able to connect with BoJack because of how thoroughly unlikable he is. I don’t mean that we as an audience can’t like him, because people will always be able to love terrible fictional characters no matter what, but he’s certainly not someone with typical likable qualities like basic human decency. He isn’t just flawed, he’s the kind of person that continues to make terrible decisions that hurt the people around him with full awareness that what he is doing could be harmful to others. Make no mistake however, we are supposed to be rooting for him, but we definitely aren’t supposed to like him either.

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Remember When Bones was Hilariously Weird About BDSM?

Bones, the first drama I really got invested in, and the first seemingly endless procedural I ever outgrew. Unlike with The Mentalist and the disastrous end it had with me, my break up with Bones was civil and clean. I just grew to understand that the show and I wanted different things in life, and that our continued commitment to one another would be to both our detriment. I basically wanted to settle down with a more serialized show that took more chances and had something to say, while Bones was content with falling into a routine and doing mostly the same thing over and over again. We realized we were in different places in our relationship and moved on, although it is fun to revisit and reminisce about the old days with a fresh pair of eyes.

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5 Times When Mason Verger Was the Most Evil Character in Television

*Hannibal Spoilers Below*

Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal is centred around a serial killer/cannibal, so you’d expect the show to have a lot of seriously evil people. In a way, the stories about the character of Hannibal Lecter have developed a bit of a rogues gallery. The villains of his universe are as colourful and theatrical as they are deadly, and the most despicable one of them all is Mason Verger. Sadistic, abusive to his twin sister Margot, and way too rich for everyone else’s own good, this character is the most sickening thing about a series that revolves around a cannibal. Perhaps the most disgusting thing about him is the clear and obvious delight he takes in the suffering of others. In Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal, Mason Verger is portrayed first by Michael Pitt, and then recast as Joe Anderson (which conveniently went along with his character’s well deserved facial mutilation). A lot of what he does isn’t motivated by anything other than his own sadistic tastes and historically this character really has always been scum, but Bryan Fuller takes him to the next level in terms of pure putridness. The legacy he will leave on television thanks to Fuller’s work will be as one of the most vile characters ever portrayed, and today I’m here to count out 5 times when he displayed that horribleness to us all on Hannibal.

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Death Parade – The Rare Show That Should Have Been More Procedural

In the past I’ve praised shows like Person of Interest for being able to forgo simplistic procedural plots and incorporating more and more complex serialized elements in its story-telling, but today I’m going to do the unthinkable. I’m going to do something different. I’m here to tell you that this show, the 2015 anime series Death Parade, needed to be more procedural. It really, really did and that’s not just because the serialized elements that were there happened to be fairly boring for the most part.

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iZombie Completely Subverts the ‘Boring Boyfriend’ Trope with Major Lilywhite

From reading that title, I know what you must be thinking: How is it possible for a cleaning detergent to subvert anything on a TV show? Never fear, because the name “Major Lilywhite” actually refers to a character on the show, and despite having an incredibly goofy name and filling the dreaded role as the lead’s “sweetheart ex-boyfriend”, he actually turned out to be a fantastic character in his own right. I’m still pretty shocked at about it all as I type this, because I’ve never really seen something like this being done deliberately. The audience was led into thinking Major would just be Liv’s (the show’s lead) lame “perfect” boyfriend from the past who would show up every once in a while to make her feel guilty and remind her of what she could have had, but instead he’s a fleshed out character with his own world and problems to contend with. He even has a seasonal arc that runs parallel to Liv’s, which eventually converges in the season 1 finale in an explosive way. I would go as far as to argue that Major is one of the most smartly written television characters to show up in recent history.

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Entourage – Existing in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

The 2004-2011 HBO show Entourage and its recent movie release are fascinating. This is an example of a television dinosaur revived into an era it no longer has a place in. Truly a relic of another age, it’s interesting how this movie shows how much our sensibilities have changed in the last four years. A show that so many unquestionably adored or dismissed as just dumb fun is now being derided by many as toxic.There are a number of reasons for this change in attitude towards it, but I’d wager it has a lot to do with our perceptions on the reality of the world of Entourage. The idea of a bunch of rich white dudes being awful and constantly screwing up but facing almost no repercussions for their behaviour and having everything go their way in the end has become too eerily close to reality. At a time where white and male privilege has fully entered our public consciousness, the existence of something like Entourage seems tone deaf. The problem being in the way the show and movie chooses to confront these “bros”.

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